Loving Two

I read this the other day, while crying at the computer (I mean, I AM a hormonal pregnant lady!) and it basically sums up every fear that I have about adding a second child to our family. But it also does a great job capturing all that is exciting about it at the same time. And even though I'm nervous about Clark's reaction to having a new little guy around, we're so thrilled that he will have a brother to grow up with- hopefully they will be good friends, and that's all we can really ask for. I know next month our little family of three will change in ways I can't even begin to imagine, and I know it's not going to always be easy. But I can't wait to see our baby become a big brother- and have a sibling to share his life with. I hope Clark will always know that we love him more than anything on this earth. And adding another little boy to the mix doesn't mean we will love him less- we'll just have that much more love to share with both our boys.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.

Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you’ve never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, “Please love only me”. And I hear myself telling you in mine, “I can’t”, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I’m afraid to let you see me enjoying him, as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times – only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how he adores you – as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven’t taken something from you, I’ve given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you – only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you’ll never share my love. There’s enough of that for both of you – you each have your own supply.

I love you – both. And I thank you both for blessing my life. Author Unknown